“To err is to wander, and wandering is the way we discover the world.” – from Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error by Kathryn Schulz
I used to think my life was made up of a long series of mistakes.
Staying in an abusive relationship for nine years, which put me in the hospital at one point – that was a big mistake.
Starting and failing to finish many writing projects – including never getting back to a producer who was eager to read my next screenplay -that was a big mistake.
Spending $50,000 to get a Master’s degree in Education, teaching for five years while dreading it most of the time, and now having to pay back a large loan – that was a big mistake.
It was hard not to play the what if game. What if I had made different choices? What if my life would have been different?
But when I started answering those questions, I came to some surprising conclusions.
If I hadn’t been in that abusive relationship for as long as I was, I wouldn’t have met my husband at the time when I was most ready to meet him. I would not have valued and treasured him as much as I do.
If I hadn’t started and failed to complete my writing projects, I wouldn’t have come to realize the importance (for me at least) of forming strong, writing habits, of focusing on projects I care about, and helping others reach their own dreams.
If I hadn’t spent an insane amount of money on a teaching degree, I wouldn’t feel so passionately about my children only going to college if they truly need that degree to help them reach their goals. If I hadn’t taught in private and public schools, I wouldn’t have seen the importance and necessity of children following their own interests in learning and doing real, meaningful work.
I’m still wandering and making mistakes. They’re mistakes in that they weren’t the path that I first started off on. In many ways, they may lead me so far off my original path that I may never find myself back on the same path again.
But to make mistakes is to take action. You can sit down on the path and not move your whole life. You might even have a comfortable time sitting on the path, watching others walk past you, content that you know exactly what’s in front of you and don’t have to be afraid of what’s around the corner.
But is that what you really want? To stay in the same place because you’re afraid of making mistakes? Afraid of what could go wrong?
I used to think that by protecting my kids from making mistakes, I was helping them see the “right” way to do things. I was providing them a short-cut so they wouldn’t have to take so many wasteful detours.
But I’m learning that those detours are really part of the path they should be taking. When I don’t allow them to make mistakes, I’m taking them away from the journey they were meant to take.
Instead I’ll be here for support whenever they need it; I’ll do my best to protect them from permanent harm. I’ll help them figure out the best tools they need for their journey; I’ll model how to reflect, learn from and grow stronger because of mistakes.
“To have a learning life centered on exploring and creating, we must allow for making mistakes. We are not concentrating on finding right answers or checking off boxes. We are jumping in feet first to do real, exciting work.” – Project Based Homeschooling: Mentoring Self-Directed Learners by Lori Pickert
Photo Credit: Brett Jordan
How have your mistakes helped shape who you are today?