* Today I’m excited to share with you a guest post by my good friend Julie Polanco, author of the book Finding Joy: A Christian’s Journey to an Unschooled Life.
So, what do you do all day?
Recently, I was invited to speak at our local homeschool support group meeting. What was the topic? As one of the few relaxed/unschooling moms in the group, I was asked, “What do relaxed homeschoolers do all day?”
I had intended to talk a little bit about how to do things differently from the curriculum driven approach that so many families lock themselves into. I had planned to talk about thinking outside the box. Instead, I struggled to put into words what relaxed homeschooling, or rather, unschooling, means to me on a day to day basis.
I was supposed to have only ten minutes, and then everyone was supposed to share what gadgets they loved and couldn’t do without. But, no one had anything to share, as was later revealed, and I went over the ten minute limit. Could it be that the twenty five women in the room came that night just to hear what I had to say? I was surprised and struggled with the flood of thoughts pouring through my head.
First, I tried to articulate the core of unschooling. I said, “Well, we take into consideration everyone’s interests and goals, not just moms and dads, and we don’t care what the school down the street is doing this year.”
That is true, but it seemed too simplistic and vague. How is that any different from delight-directed learning in which mom is still doing the teaching and checking national standards?
I tried again. “My oldest daughter is writing a novel and spends a lot of time doing that. She also likes to make little movies. My oldest son is into World War II and watches documentaries with his dad. They are starting a model tank collection. My younger son and daughter play together a lot, but we read stories, do art projects, and learn about animals.”
That is true, too, and is a good example of how interests can be a family affair, but it felt like I was just scratching the surface. We don’t do those things all the time, everyday.
Someone mentioned that I had told them about routine. I said, “Yes, we do have a routine because everyone needs routine. Our routine is centered on our family’s goals and interests. We usually do some arts and crafts each day, usually have a Bible lesson, some outdoor time in good weather, and some sort of non-coerced ‘unit’ or project, and chores, but there is a great deal of flexibility and sometimes we may not do any of those things.”
Is that what they came to hear, the comfortable idea of a schedule even in an unschooling home? I didn’t feel like I was getting anywhere.
I mentioned taking advantage of community and being resourceful in finding all the hidden gems, such as forest preserve districts. I mentioned that service and entrepreneurship are very important to my family. We have always served the elderly and my oldest daughter has two babysitting jobs.
Someone asked about math. Ah, yes, the math question. I basically said that my early attempts at trying to teach math only led to confusion in my kids. Yes, my oldest two children, ages thirteen and ten, know how to add, subtract, multiply, and divide. They know about percents as they relate to store sales and they know about fractions as they relate to cooking. Of course, they know about money.
My seven year old daughter knows basic addition and subtraction, reading double digits, and counting. My little four year old son can count to twenty and recognize numbers up to ten. I did not teach any of this directly. At this point in the meeting, I was wondering if I was being scrutinized. I was wondering if anyone was really getting the message of what an unschooled life looks like.
It wasn’t until everyone was packing up their stuff to leave that I got my answer and was finally able to articulate what this life means to me.
One of the moms approached me and said, “You know, you really encouraged me because I thought I was doing something wrong with my son by allowing him to pursue his passions. He would get really into birds and everything had to be birds. He would do all this research, but I kept bugging him about my own agenda. Then, he’d be really into something else, and I’d feel so stressed because he wasn’t working on the curriculum. Listening to you has helped me see that I can relax and let him be. God will lead him where he needs to go.”
There it was. Trust. Respect. Nurturing the whole person, not just the mind. Being in the moment without worry about the future. There are no guarantees after all.
What does a relaxed homeschooler do all day? Relax and love her children.
Photo Credit: mikebaird
Julie Polanco has been homeschooling her four children from the beginning. Over the years, her style has evolved from parent-driven to an unschooled, collaborative lifestyle of learning with her children. Her journey is chronicled in her book, Finding Joy: A Christian’s Journey to an Unschooled Life, available through Amazon. You can read her weekly musings on life and learning at her blog, Joyful Always.